Talking RA with Family Members and Loved Ones

Sure, you’re the one with the disease, but rheumatoid arthritis can affect all of your family and friends. That is why it is important to involve your loved ones in helping you manage your RA.

The first step is to educate others about your disease. When you were diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, you probably sought information about arthritis from the Internet, your doctors or the Arthritis Foundation. Now, you can become an advocate and share your knowledge with others.

You should be up front with your family and friends about your disease and your limitations. Don’t get caught in the “I have to do it myself ” trap. Ask for or accept help if you need it. Everyone needs help sometimes.

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It’s especially important for parents with arthritis to communicate with their children. If you’re irritable because your arthritis has flared, your children can tell. Instead of hiding it, explain it to them. How you manage your disease can have a positive affect on your children. Demonstrating that you’re actively coping with your arthritis helps your children develop coping mechanisms. But if they simply hear you complaining, that’s the behavior they will likely imitate.

Allow your loved ones to become involved in your health management. Ask a friend to become a walk buddy or have your spouse join you at your doctor appointments. Tell people very specifically how you would like them to help. Don’t assume people know what to do or that you need help.

And most of all, stay in the game. Don’t isolate yourself. Be open with friends and family about what you can and cannot do, and why. For example, if you have good days and bad days, let them know that any plans you make have to be tentative. Or instead, find alternative ways of doing things you love. If you’d like to go to a movie but don’t feel up to it, ask a friend to watch a video with you at home instead.

Rheumatoid arthritis is not something you have to live with alone. Your family and friends can be just as important to your healthcare team as your doctors. Enlist their help when needed, and relish in the support they give.